Nothing can match the bravery of that email. The spare, unpunctuated sentence doesn't even scratch the surface of the breadth of subject matter encompassed by "showering etc." In that one uncapitalized missive, a tour de force, if you will, we sense the oceans of things left unsaid, the emotions so vast they can only be expressed by their glaring absence. Donna, I salute you. Your talent is grossly misplaced.

Just as the idealism of our youth wilts to the petty cynicism of our mid-twenties, that shower never happened, no matter how well-intentioned it may have been. Perhaps there is a lesson to be gleaned from this: No amount of pre-shower emails can take the place of an actual shower. And sometimes, you have to take a walk with dirty hair.

It's hard, let me tell you. It's hard.

So we walked over to the old Beaumont and got amped on some coffee while debating whether it was raining or not: "It's only raining over there." "No, look at that car, it has rain on it." "Ok, it's definitely raining now."

So I'm sitting here drinking my sorrows away with cheap wine from the Beaumont Market, and do you want to know what those sorrows are? 1. I miss being manic. Really, it's fun. 2. Lloyd is in Italy. 3. I'm broke (but I get about $60 in tips tomorrow since Natacha is getting back from vacation).

And my 4th reason to drink myself into oblivion? My fucking car is beyond repair. My Volvo repair guy called today to say that the work to get it to pass emissions is "not worth it". He would have to replace the exhaust system and some other things, totaling... brace yourself... five hundred dollars!!! That is a sum I am totally, absolutely willing to throw at my beloved car. That's nothing! Hell, I'd spend a million on it if I could. But according to Mr. Volvo, I should just buy a new car that's worth throwing money at. "This car is too worn down.. I almost never see cars like this. It just needs too much work."

FUCK!! I almost cried, and I am totally serious. I can keep driving it on temporary trip permits for another two months, but after that... Donna suggested I go to DEQ and say, "Who do I have to blow around here to get this to pass emissions?" Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures.

So I've been looking at Volvos on Craigslist. I'm picky, though. It has to be a 245, pre 1981, wagon, automatic transmission, with the circular lights, not square. For less than $1000. By the time my trip permits run out, maybe I'll find one.

In the meantime, the car is still at the shop, which means.. I'll be riding my bike to work tomorrow! I work at 7:15 so I'm going to leave at 6:30 just to make sure I get there on time. It's a 6.5 mile trip and I haven't ridden in a while. It takes me 20 minutes in my car. It's beautiful out at that time, though a little cold, and sometimes rainy. I've been meaning to ride my bike more; maybe my car dying is a good excuse.

So, I think it's my bedtime. 9:20. Good night. Oh, and I only managed to drink 1 1/2 glasses of wine, so don't you worry...