-CocoRosie

I have been in a strange place for three days. I found out that being manic, or whatever, is not the best state to be in whilst making important decisions, going to job interviews, etc. When I used to feel like this, I was going to Reed, and though I was unable to do homework or be productive, it didn't matter too much. I just ran around enjoying the euphoria. Job interviews? Whole different story.

At any rate, I quit my job, rather abruptly -- it was too much -- but I found another job that starts next week. Restaurant, catering, something. 24th and Burnside. Morning hours, that was the most important thing. I want to see the sun rise every day. In Portland.

Today Donna and I wandered all over North Portland in my car. I haven't been sleeping more than a few hours a night, and lack of sleep makes me cold, so we didn't walk around much. But we went to Kelly Point Park, briefly, Roselawn Park, and -- my new obsession -- Pier Park in St. Johns. The evergreens are so thick there, long spires reaching from lush glowing green grass and ferns. I must go back when I am less cold and less crazy.

We took pictures of the bridge, went to a vegan restaurant, and drove all the way down Killingsworth.

That street is a dream for me, like a desolate outpost of a dying civilization, the remnants of past decadence reimagined for the end of the world. I want to take a road trip to Alaska this summer. That's what I think of on Killingsworth. The Northeast Cup and Saucer like a windswept tent in the tundra. Girls and boys standing around on streetcorners in baggy jackets; what are they *doing*?

[pictures on flickr.]

Another thing I thought of all day: a dear friend whose dear friend died. I am trying to imagine how that feels. Can't. I fall apart when I'm away from Portland or when someone looks at me funny -- no one close to me has ever died. Not that close. I try to imagine Donna dying, but it's inconceivable. "Which one of us do you think will die first?" she asked the other day. My mind implodes...

Rainbows wept colour all over the streets when you went away
Maybe one day we'll meet

Haven't slept a wink since 1916
I wasn't born then,

But sure feels times been tickin.